The Olympics are fun

We've been enjoying the Olympics, especially Phelps. A friend showed me this article and I got a kick out of it. :)

The events TV won't show

Ron Judd
Seattle Times staff columnist



We're halfway through the Olympics, and everyone knows what that means:
NBC should be showing the opening ceremony to viewers on the West Coast sometime later this evening.

Here's what you've missed so far:

Day One
The Games of the 29th Olympiad are launched at 8 p.m. on 8/8/08 with the Most Spectacular, Unbelievable, Flabbergasting, Incredible, Splendiferous, Mind-Blowing, Crazy-Big, Ginormous, Never-to-Be-Equaled Opening Ceremony in the History of All Living Creatures in Galaxies Known and Unknown (copyright 2008, NBC).

The ceremony begins with a 9-year-old Chinese girl standing on a platform and singing "Ode to the Motherland," which, it later turns out, has actually been prerecorded by Milli Vanilli. The ceremony also includes many, many drums, and a spectacular-crescendo ending in which the Chinese, in a clear homage to their sister city of Cleveland, actually light the pollutant-laden Beijing night air briefly on fire.

NBC host Bob Costas, from his booster seat in the International Broadcast Center, gushes: "When it comes to trite clichés, you can retire the trophy!"

In an unfortunate bit of timing, Russia, its tanks fueled with biodiesel made from composted copies of the Olympic Truce, invades Georgia. The Bush administration sends a tank brigade to protect Atlanta.

West Coast viewers see only beach volleyball.

Day Two
NBC finally broadcasts the pilot episode of "Laugh In" to the West Coast of the United States.

East Coast viewers watch Michael Phelps launch his quest to win every single gold medal in every single event in every single sport at the Beijing Games. He captures the 400 IM — amazingly, with the lip-syncing Chinese girl riding him like a dolphin. Mariel Zagunis of Oregon — who did not get the memo on Phelps — quickly foils (tiny joke there) his medal quest by winning her own gold medal in fencing.

Men's cycling begins with a large group of riders heading out into the smog, never to be seen again. Their medals are awarded to Phelps.

Day Three
NBC finally broadcasts the 1972 Republican National Convention to the West Coast.

The Chinese official responsible for leaking the news of the lip-syncing in the opening ceremony receives a sentence of two-and-a-half lives watching beach volleyball.

East Coast U.S. viewers see Phelps win his second gold medal, swimming with both arms bound through a lake of fire, after which he remains at a loss for words.

The United States vanquishes China, 101-70, in basketball. The Chinese team is hastily relocated to Oklahoma City.

Duvall equestrian Amy Tryon is disqualified after being bucked off her horse. The horse releases a statement explaining that he was tired of being forced to perform silly tricks by people in goofy hats.

Day Four
NBC finally broadcasts the closing ceremony of the 1956 Melbourne Games to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers see Phelps pull a gravel barge with his teeth to victory in the 200-meter freestyle. NBC reporter Andrea Kremer follows Phelps into the dope-testing stall, where he says he is still at a loss for words, and would she mind closing that door?

A controversy erupts in gymnastics, as several of the "women" on the Chinese squad appear to be no more than 6 years old. The scandal worsens when one of them enters the arena wearing warmups that look suspiciously like jammies with feet. West Coast viewers see only beach volleyball.

Day Five
NBC finally broadcasts the Battle of Little Bighorn to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers see Phelps win the 100-, 125-, 150-, 175-, 225-, 250-, 300-, 325-, 350-, 375-, 400-, 800- and 1600-meter freestyle races to bring his single-Olympic total to an astonishing 16. He remains at a loss for words.

In a news conference, Chinese reporters, celebrating newfound press freedoms, ask 6-year-old gold-medal-winning Chinese gymnasts what they did on their 21st birthdays.

Day Six
NBC finally broadcasts the opening of the Panama Canal to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers see a new scandal erupt as several members of the gold-medal Chinese men's gymnastics team are revealed to be pre-pubescent girls.

Phelps invades Georgia. Upon return, he wins his 33rd gold medal by swimming the 200 butterfly with his goggles completely filled with battery acid.

A U.S. swimmer at the Water Cube is expelled from the national team and barred from the Olympics after winning her race, but failing to establish a new world record.

Day Seven
NBC finally broadcasts the Battle of Dunkirk to the West Coast.

East Coast viewers watch Phelps, who trails by 49 meters at the 50-meter mark, leap like Shamu the killer whale into the air, fly the length of the pool, and somehow defeat stunned Serbian swimmer Milo Cavic, who has been sitting in the finish area smoking a cigarette for at least 12 minutes.

Track and field begins, with the sad spectacle of Marion Jones attempting to run the 200 meters in an orange jumpsuit with a home-confinement locator beacon strapped around her ankle.

Phelps is at a loss for words.

Ron Judd: rjudd@seattletimes.com
Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company

Deep Thoughts, by Tyler

"Why does Peter Pan fly and God doesn't?"

Lifetime... for a lifetime this time

Well, this week at Weight Watchers marked a special acheivement for me- I attained Lifetime membership status. What that means is, I've reached my goal weight and maintained it for at least 6 weeks. What it *really* means is, I can go to as many Weight Watcher meetings as I want and not have to PAY anymore!

I had actually acheived Lifetime status on my first go-round with Weight Watchers, back before I had Colby. I made it back to my goal weight after I had him, and then almost back to my goal weight after I had Tyler, but then, even without a pregnancy to blame, had gotten up above 200lbs all on my own. I decided this was my *last* time to lose these pounds!

So here I am. I've lost 36.3lbs since I started in September, and I'm quite proud of me. My mindset and outlook has definitely changed, and I truly do view it as a lifetime committment to being healthy, not a lifetime-long diet.

Colby, who has been "learning" a lot about Weight Watchers since he's been going with me while school is out, was really excited about the cute little magic wand I got from my leader. His exact words were, "I'm going to go to Weight Watchers if I get fat!!!"

Here's the classic "Before" picture, where you look your absolute worst:

A couple more "befores":

And here, happily, are the ever afters:

Welcome Caden!

Meet the newest Lego-building, sword-fighting, bike-riding, tag-playing, rough-housing good buddy to my boys, little Mr. Caden. His big brothers Kale and Caleb have already earned best friend status in our house; I'm sure it won't take Caden long to get up to speed. :)

Let's Go Fly a Kite

Just some fun flying kites at the park...

Fun at Disneyland

Having heard a rumor that the parks were mostly dead, we decided to brave the Disneyland crowds on a summer weekend last Sunday. I have to say, we were very pleasantly surprised at how few people actually were there. We only waited in one line all day, which was 45 minutes long, for the new Toy Story Mania ride. Everything else we wanted to ride was less than a 10 minute wait, and several of them we went on multiple times! Granted, we don't do most of the "bigger" rides, but Colby & Brian did go on Indiana Jones and both thoroughly enjoyed it.

Of course, I couldn't get away without a few pictures. Okay, over 200 pictures, but c'mon... that's what digital cameras are for, right?! I won't bore you with all of them, but here are a few of my favorites.

The main Mouse himself

This is what happens when you have two tired boys and only one stroller

This young lady, who's been working at Disneyland for 29 1/2 years, freehandedly scissor-cuts silhouettes on the spot. It's really neat to watch.

And here's the finished product after all of us had a turn in her chair.

This is a new Tinkerbelle statue; she sprinkles pixie dust on the Mickey floral at the entrance- very pretty!

Colby's favorite ride

Green army men- fabulous!

A couple got engaged in front of the castle before the fireworks show; luckily they didn't get in the way of my photo. ;)

Happy brothers




.

Cozy

Phoebe decided to make herself comfortable on the kids' Sesame Street couch today. She fits right in with Elmo and gang.

Birds of a feather

You know the old saying, "Birds of a feather flock into the fireplace?" What, you've never heard that one? Well, I give you Exhibits A: a little bird who came in through the eaves, got stuck in our wall for a couple days, and eventually worked his way out through the fireplace.

Of course the kids wanted to keep him. Colby thought we ought to go out and get some worms for him. I guess this wasn't the early bird, though, because he got promptly put outdoors, nary a worm in sight.

Agnus Dei- Tyler remix

This video is actually "God of Wonders" and "Agnus Dei," but they're both good, so have a listen, paying attention to the second song for the purpose of this blog.




Got it?

Ok, now I wish I had a video of it, but the quickest way to get a kid to stop doing something cute is to go find the video camera. So you'll just have to trust me when I tell you how Tyler sings it:

"Alleluia... Alleluia...
Holy... Holy...
Are you Lord God on my team!
Woody [from Toy Story] is the Lamb, Woody is the Lamb
You are Holy..."

We've all tried to correct him about the Woody part, but he insists. Secretly, I think it's cute that way... shhhhh

Don't mess with the brothers

The boys were playing superheroes today. The first picture cracks me up.

Don't mess with the family.

Tough guy

I believe I can Fly...